Goddess of Literature and Sarcasm

cheekbonesofbenny:

For fucks sake. Dads got the hump with me because he thought I was ignoring his texts when they didn’t come through which has annoyed me. I’m tired, didn’t sleep well and have to go to work soon. Urgh, hope the day gets better because I’m annoyed right now.

Tell him from your internet peeps that it happens all the time. At least 3 or 4 times a year since I went to college I will get a series of frantic calls and texts from my mom, who thinks I’ve been murdered because a text of mine didn’t go through when she was expecting it to, and I won’t know to reply because my phone is off or on silent. She knows it happens, and every time she swears she won’t freak out the next time, only to forget and wake me up at 3 in the morning to apologize for not being dead.

ghoostdaughter:

Cross out what you’ve already read. Six is the average.

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
The Bible - Council of Nicea
Wuthering Heights…

Cross out what you’ve already read. Six is the average.

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

The Bible - Council of Nicea
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
Middlemarch - George Eliot
Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
Bleak House - Charles Dickens
War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll

The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
Emma - Jane Austen
Persuasion - Jane Austen
The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
Animal Farm - George Orwell
The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Atonement - Ian McEwan
Life of Pi - Yann Martel
Dune - Frank Herbert
Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
The Secret History - Donna Tartt
The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold 
Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
On The Road - Jack Kerouac
Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie 
Moby Dick - Herman Melville
Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
Dracula - Bram Stoker
The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

Ulysses - James Joyce

The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
Germinal - Emile Zola
Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
Possession - AS Byatt
A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
The Color Purple - Alice Walker
The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
Charlotte’s Web - EB White
The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
Watership Down - Richard Adams
A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole 
A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
Hamlet - William Shakespeare
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
Frankenstein - Mary Shelley
The Canterbury Tales - Geoffrey Chaucer
Paradise Lost - John Milton
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn - Mark Twain

White Fang - Jack London
The Portrait of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde
Queen of the Damned - Anne Rice
Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - Robert Louis Stevenson
The Call of the Wild - Jack London
The Importance of Being Earnest - Oscar Wilde
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz — L. Frank Baum
Don Quixote — Miguel DeCervantes
Where the Wild Things Are — Maurice Sendak
The Cat in the Hat — Dr Seuss

The Giver — Lois Lowry
Inkheart — Cornelia Funke

Divine Comedy - Dante Alighieri
Macbeth — William Shakespeare
Romeo and Juliet — William Shakespeare
The Child Called ‘It’ — Dave Pelzer
The Hunger Games — Suzanne Collins
The Diary of a Young Girl — Anne Frank
Night — Elie Wiesel
Les Misérables — Victor Hugo
The Odyssey — Homer
The Scarlet Letter — Nathaniel Hawthorne
The Brothers Karamasov — Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Eragon — Christopher Paolini
Song of Ice and Fire: Game of Thrones series— George R.R Martin
The Art of War— Sun Tzu
The Joy Luck Club— Amy Tan
Mary Poppins— P.L. Travers
Roots— Alex Haily
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings— Maya Aangelou
Naked Lunch—William S. Burroughs
Howl— Allen Ginsberg
Interview With a Vampire— Anne Rice
The Shining— Stephen King
Jim Hensons Labyrinth — A.G.H Smith
Percy Jackson and the Olympians— Rick Riordan
The Heroes of Olympus— Rick Riordan
The Kane Chronicles— Rick Riordan

New rules from the person I reblogged this from: strike through the titles you have read, bold the ones you have read part of but have not yet finished at the time of posting.

soyouthinkmyeyesarefine:

imgoddamnpluckyremember:

dannypuston:

gehayi:

atalantapendrag:

fatanarchy:

THIS IS WHAT ANARCHY LOOKS LIKE.

Hope for the future.

This kid is incredible.



THIS POST IS BACK ON MY DASH AND I WILL NEVER NOT REBLOG ANARCHIST LIBRARIAN KID.

OMG THIS IS THE COOLEST PERSON EVER.
And they are COMPLETELY doing the right thing. Banning books is banning knowledge, it is actively working against the very principles of teaching. This person is the kind of person I would love to meet.
YOU GO ANARCHIST LIBRARIAN KID.
FOUR FOR YOU ANARCHIST LIBRARIAN KID.

soyouthinkmyeyesarefine:

imgoddamnpluckyremember:

dannypuston:

gehayi:

atalantapendrag:

fatanarchy:

THIS IS WHAT ANARCHY LOOKS LIKE.

Hope for the future.

This kid is incredible.

THIS POST IS BACK ON MY DASH AND I WILL NEVER NOT REBLOG ANARCHIST LIBRARIAN KID.

OMG THIS IS THE COOLEST PERSON EVER.

And they are COMPLETELY doing the right thing. Banning books is banning knowledge, it is actively working against the very principles of teaching. This person is the kind of person I would love to meet.

YOU GO ANARCHIST LIBRARIAN KID.

FOUR FOR YOU ANARCHIST LIBRARIAN KID.

queerahim-bitch:

OH

They’re called “jumping cholla” and they’re all over the southwestern US. They are evil little shits. As they grow they put out little bundles of cactus that become less and less attached to the main body of the cactus until they can fall off in a light breeze, hence the nickname “jumping.” This means that if you get anywhere near one you have to watch out or a light brush will leave you with an unpleasant surprise on your shirt. I don’t know about this dude, though. Cactus all up and down his front, back, and sides? What would possibly lead anyone to think that rolling in the cactus patch was a good idea?

queerahim-bitch:

OH

They’re called “jumping cholla” and they’re all over the southwestern US. They are evil little shits. As they grow they put out little bundles of cactus that become less and less attached to the main body of the cactus until they can fall off in a light breeze, hence the nickname “jumping.” This means that if you get anywhere near one you have to watch out or a light brush will leave you with an unpleasant surprise on your shirt. I don’t know about this dude, though. Cactus all up and down his front, back, and sides? What would possibly lead anyone to think that rolling in the cactus patch was a good idea?

story-dj:

#you should reblog this every time it’s on your dash

Gibbs likes people who use loopholes regularly, because once they’re on his team they need to think outside of the box so they don’t get arrested for treason for following his orders, because they would all rather risk a lifetime behind bars than his stare of disapproval. You know, regular office stuff.

bead-bead:

And the ones who are still fighting, and the men who are fighting for us, too.

bead-bead:

And the ones who are still fighting, and the men who are fighting for us, too.

tastefullyoffensive:

Be nice to Frank. [caboosium]

Was this order done by Howl when Sophie wasn’t looking?

tastefullyoffensive:

Be nice to Frank.

[caboosium]

Was this order done by Howl when Sophie wasn’t looking?

marauders4evr:

It’s just a flesh wound.

The single greatest scene in cinematic history.

psychofactz:

More?

Translation: Psychologists were paid to organize and publish information that anyone with an internet connection and enough bravery to read Youtube comments has figured out already.

psychofactz:

More?

Translation: Psychologists were paid to organize and publish information that anyone with an internet connection and enough bravery to read Youtube comments has figured out already.

ebonybyg:

jjsinterlude:

2damnfeisty:

amazelife:

^^^

Reason why I no longer eat there.

At first I was thinking “but McDonald’s burger didn’t go bad”, but then my slow ass got the point.

But then what are we eating?

Don’t ask questions when you aren’t ready to hear the answer.

Mark Sheppard - The Man Who Made it Into Nearly Every Fandom

totally-randomfandom:

giandujakiss:

thewestcoastkid:

atleastimnotbrentspiner:

millyzoreen:

winny-chester-the-pooh:

Badger in Fireflyimage

Canton Delaware in Doctor Who

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Arnon in Charmed

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 Crowley in SupernaturalimageBenedict Valare in Warehouse 13

imageAnd Graham Tanaka in Dollhouse

imageWHY IS THIS MAN NOT KING OF TUMBLR????

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Don’t forget Romo Lampkin in Battlestar Galactica!

are we not going to talk about star trek

image

And The Director of The Ring from Chuck

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Duh, X-Files?  How quickly they forget.

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Don’t forget Monk

imageimage

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sydneyisdeffonfire:

klairy-dust:

fairydustandklainebows:

brendanshaw:

p3n1s:

femistorian:

This is what a REAL rape prevention campaign looks like

All the awards.

DO ME A HUGE FAVOR AND REBLOG THIS!



This is perfection in a campaign

I love how they included a situation where a guy could’ve gotten raped. People don’t seem to realize that males get raped too. It’s less common, but it happens. That is what sets this campaign apart from others. 

sydneyisdeffonfire:

klairy-dust:

fairydustandklainebows:

brendanshaw:

p3n1s:

femistorian:

This is what a REAL rape prevention campaign looks like

All the awards.

DO ME A HUGE FAVOR AND REBLOG THIS!

image

This is perfection in a campaign

I love how they included a situation where a guy could’ve gotten raped. People don’t seem to realize that males get raped too. It’s less common, but it happens. That is what sets this campaign apart from others. 

Reblog if you’ve ever yelled at a book.

asneeze-father-of-achoo:

divergent-obsessedd:

kripke-is-my-king:

professionalcrazyfangirl:

polerin:

cannibalcoalition:

afoxnamedtod:

Are there people who don’t reblog this?

I can only assume that the ones who haven’t aren’t reading the right books.

FUCKING BOOKS.

If it doesn’t make you mad, it’s not good enough.

image

*glares at allegiant*

*glares at looking for Alaska*

Yelled, cried, hugged, made noises frighteningly similar to a boiling kettle— I have a more dynamic relationship with my books than with 90% of the people I interact with daily.

psychofactz:

More?

In other news, some psychologists are shitheads who can’t get their heads out of the gutter for five minutes and so believe that no one else can either.

psychofactz:

More?

In other news, some psychologists are shitheads who can’t get their heads out of the gutter for five minutes and so believe that no one else can either.

dashdrive:

you gotta be careful with girls named katherine because it could be spelled katherine or kathryn or catherine cathryn katherin kcatcheyn ckathcryrn catrchckern kathtrine 

Nah, Katherines know that people have a hard time figuring out how to spell their name, it’s the “Kate/Katie” divide you have to worry about. On my freshman hall at uni we had two “Katherines” (different spellings), a “Kate” and a “Katie.” The Katherines would shrug if you forgot who was who, the Kate and Katie would cut you.