Goddess of Literature and Sarcasm

cunicular:

Your first time is NOT supposed to hurt

You are NOT supposed to bleed

If you bleed, that is NOT your hymen being ‘popped’, it is a tear due to lack of sexual arousal and natural lubrication.

This is all a MYTH perpetrated by men so they don’t have to make sure you are comfortable and sufficiently aroused enough before you have sex with them. It is an excuse to disregard and hurt you.

I just really want women to know this.

king-in-yellow:

hopephd:

Seizure First Aid. 

Learn it. Share it. Know it. Use it. 

100% correct medical information on tumblr for once; also consider calling 911 if you don’t know how often the person has seizures and ESPECIALLY if the seizure has lasted 5 minutes or more (which is why the watch is critical)

  “A scarlet steam engine was waiting next to a platform  packed with people. A sign overhead said Hogwarts Express, eleven o’clock. Harry looked behind him and saw a wrought-iron archway where the barrier had been, with  the words Platform Nine and Three-Quarters on it.
  Smoke from the engine drifted over the heads of the chattering crowd, while cats of every color wound here and there between their legs. Owls hooted to one another in a disgruntled sort of way over the babble and the scraping of heavy trunks.”

Happy September 1st, y’all!

why-am-i-narrating:

anentirelynewhunger:

Does anyone else make sarcastic comments out loud when watching a TV show or film even though you’re completely alone?

You mean some people don’t do this?

I do this no matter how many people are around. It freaks out my mom when I go from telling the hero how to win in half the time to telling the villain to slaughter the hero early so that they become evil overlord of all the earth.

thestudentprincesss:

poetryincamelot:

cawlinmorgan:

Okay so 

  1. Why was that scene deleted? Arthur trying to impress Merlin is just the cutest thing ever
  2. Why isn’t that scene in the fucking bonus with the other deleted scenes?
  3. WHY WAS THAT SCENE DELETED?

Here is the transcript of what they were saying in the scene. I just have one thing to add:

WHY WAS THIS SCENE DELETED

micdotcom:

11 ways to solve rape better than nail polish

The more we depend on women to prevent rape, the easier it is to blame them when it happens to them. Here’s a look at the well-documented ways we can actually stop rape. Maybe it’s time we invest a little more time and resources into implementing them before we send gallons of nail polish to colleges across the country.

Read the full list | Follow micdotcom

spockisinthetardis:

marauders4evr:

Alright, folks.

I know that some of you are heading off to college.

And you’re nervous.

So let me answer one question that you’re all thinking about and spare you some awkwardness and embarrassment:

You do not need to ask to use the bathroom in college.

You do not need to ask to use the bathroom in college.

YOU DO NOT NEED TO ASK TO USE THE BATHROOM IN COLLEGE.

That is all.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO JUST GET UP AND WALK OUT WITHOUT EXPLAINING MYSELF???

Yes, just do it quietly. Head down, don’t bump into anyone on the way out, and go back to taking notes when you come back to the classroom. It’ll all be fine.

do-i-smell-watermelon:

timelady-of-221b:

fred-baby:

I wish all spiders looked like Andrew Garfield.

Can you imagine though?
You’re walking around your house and then you see a really tiny Andrew Garfield running around in costume.

i thought we were talking about andrew garfield’s head on a spider’s body

That would be the cutest spidren in existence, right before it ate you.

Requested by and Dedicated To sansaswrath!

I love clever!Gwen and adorkable!Merlin, their friendship is so wonderful!

super1eklectic:

infamousnfamous:

“Hey sexy lemme talk to you”“No thanks”“MAN FUCK YOU YOU UGLY ANYWAY HO I WAS JUST PRETENDING TO LIKE YOU 1 CAN GET 3 MORE BITCHES THAT LOOK BETTER THAN YOU”


The difference is that men will lash out at you immediately in order to cover up their own weakness. Women will be patient, waiting for you to reveal your weakness to them, and then slay you.

super1eklectic:

infamousnfamous:

“Hey sexy lemme talk to you”
“No thanks”
“MAN FUCK YOU YOU UGLY ANYWAY HO I WAS JUST PRETENDING TO LIKE YOU 1 CAN GET 3 MORE BITCHES THAT LOOK BETTER THAN YOU”

The difference is that men will lash out at you immediately in order to cover up their own weakness. Women will be patient, waiting for you to reveal your weakness to them, and then slay you.

some-sort-of-interesting-person:

fr3ntus:

waitingonmyraggedyman:

katiethesatanickiller:

cutwithyourkiss:

dame-gaby:

sweettitties:

buildfortsoutofsheets:

thisworldisourr:

The most difficult one minute of our Elementary childhood.

omg this stressed me out like no other

Quick, do all the zeros and then comeback for the rest.

no you know what it was a goddamn race
it was all about being the kid who flipped their paper over first and then looked at all your peers as they hear the flutter of paper
so much power

The teachers used this as a weapon to pin us against eachother

the legal hunger games

The Number Games

ITS NOT AS BAD AS THE MULTIPLICATION ONES THOUGH

These always made me feel horrible because no matter how much I practiced, I still couldn’t get past 5 or 6 questions. I cracked under the pressure

This dumb-ass thing is partly why I grew up hating math so damn much. No one, outside of an exam setting, will ask you to do math at top speed ever again in your adult life. If you try to do your taxes in under a minute you will most likely come under government scrutiny and go to jail. Besides, what is the point of this test?!? Kids come up with strategies like “do all the zeros and ones first” to try and feel like they are doing a good job by filling in lots of questions when in reality they are hurting themselves in the long run.  Taking the easy way out does not equal a solid education. If you don’t have a good grounding in elementary math you will find it exponentially harder to go on to higher math classes as you get older (and no matter how much you beg they will still be mandatory).

some-sort-of-interesting-person:

fr3ntus:

waitingonmyraggedyman:

katiethesatanickiller:

cutwithyourkiss:

dame-gaby:

sweettitties:

buildfortsoutofsheets:

thisworldisourr:

The most difficult one minute of our Elementary childhood.

omg this stressed me out like no other

Quick, do all the zeros and then comeback for the rest.

no you know what it was a goddamn race

it was all about being the kid who flipped their paper over first and then looked at all your peers as they hear the flutter of paper

so much power

The teachers used this as a weapon to pin us against eachother

the legal hunger games

The Number Games

ITS NOT AS BAD AS THE MULTIPLICATION ONES THOUGH

These always made me feel horrible because no matter how much I practiced, I still couldn’t get past 5 or 6 questions. I cracked under the pressure

This dumb-ass thing is partly why I grew up hating math so damn much. No one, outside of an exam setting, will ask you to do math at top speed ever again in your adult life. If you try to do your taxes in under a minute you will most likely come under government scrutiny and go to jail. Besides, what is the point of this test?!? Kids come up with strategies like “do all the zeros and ones first” to try and feel like they are doing a good job by filling in lots of questions when in reality they are hurting themselves in the long run.  Taking the easy way out does not equal a solid education. If you don’t have a good grounding in elementary math you will find it exponentially harder to go on to higher math classes as you get older (and no matter how much you beg they will still be mandatory).

itseasytobemerry:

thismachinespewssarcasm:

itseasytobemerry:

why didn’t harry use the chamber of secrets when teaching dumbledore army? i mean, only HE could open the door?

because the giant basilisk skeleton might have been a distraction

if anything it sets the mood

So thirty-odd students, boys and girls, waiting around in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom for the never-on-time Chosen One every week isn’t going to look suspicious?

jaclcfrost:

geekyartchick:

jaclcfrost:

imagine ur otp

doing

the forehead touch

now imagine ur otp doing the forehead touch

as one of them dies in the other’s arms

take that somewhere else

I don’t have to imagine.

Reblog if no one has a crush on you.
IF YOUR ART GETS STOLEN

rene-art:

harrypopsz:

jolly-godoflies:

https://www.tumblr.com/dmca
Go there, and do as the instructions say.
When my art was stolen, I got the post reported, and it was taken down. Don’t worry, it doesn’t just take down the sources post, but it takes down all the reblogged posts too.
Please give this a reblog, many artists out there may not know this is here.
And remember, ask permission before sharing, or don’t post it.

THIS IS BLOODY FANTASTIC

LET ME SMOOCH YOU

GOODBYE RE-POSTERS

HOLY SHIT